She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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