literally had 100 drinks last night.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Still dying that you shit outside
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
