STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
we should paint friendship bongs
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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