Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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