Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
