Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize