I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
