I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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