can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
