he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
there is glitter all over my balls
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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