Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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