I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
