dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
