do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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