Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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