Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
