And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
