dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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