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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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