real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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