Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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