Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
