very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he thought i was a dude.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
