why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
