you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
