I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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