why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
