I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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