Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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