I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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