dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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