I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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