May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
