omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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