I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
