I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
