my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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