Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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