My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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