forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She announced her abortion via fbk
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
