Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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