So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
