WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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