I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
