We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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