my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
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