? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
