I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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