just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
