I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
