I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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