just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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