She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
