In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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