As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
